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Jan 16, 2009
A Clean Computer Doesn't Suck
Look how happy that god damned computer is.
As much as Giraffes love to eat chili, they much, MUCH prefer a clean PC that is running in tip top shape. Windows users only, Mac users can bask in the glory of not having these problems.
Hopefully everyone will be using this list to configure a brand new computer, the giraffes everywhere will thank you, I assure you. However, I'm quite certain that the majority of you morons will need the list to fix a computer that's already on its way to the dumpster. Either way, after you install this list of software and run 'em, it'll be smooth sailing.
So, for starters, let's talk about this thing called a Virus:
vi-rus [vahy-ruhs] -noun, plural -rus-es.
A segment of self-replicating code planted illegally in a computer program, often to damage or shut down a system or network.In other words, it's bad. Especially bad if you don't have protection against said invaders. Let's start by getting your PC's defenses up to snuff.
Let's head on over to Grisoft's Website and pick up a copy of AVG Free
Download the version on the left (The basic version) and once it's downloaded, install that bad boy. AVG has never led me astray and I can honestly say I'd give them 5 out of 5 stars. They're that good.
To make sure you're protected from all the nasties on the web, make sure AVG is running (look for the icon on the start menu). Restart your computer just to be sure.
Next on the list, you're going to want to speed things up on your computer. Anything from cache cleansing to spyware removal fall in to this category. I'll start with the most important items first.
Spyware is dangerous. Everyone knows you look at porn but you don't want all those information digging bots to know that, too. Besides, it's more fun when you feel stealthy. Like a ninja.
For spyware removal, I generally use three different programs. I find between the use of all of them, I can catch and get rid of any threat to my system.
Pick up a copy of Spybot Search and Destroy first.
Depending upon your preference, you may want to run this before doing anything else. I'll be honest though, it doesn't really matter.
Once you've got that configured, nab a copy of Lavasoft Ad-Aware and a copy of Malware Bytes.
Run all of those, leaving Malware Bytes until last (as I find it usually does the best cleanup after the others are ran) and rejoice at how well you've done thus far.
Last but not least, we'll move on to general clean up and system maintenance. I don't really need to explain too much here, so I'll just give you the basics.
Go and download the following programs: PC Decrapifier, CCleaner and Defraggler.
Start with PC Decrapifier. You're only going to need to run this one once, anyway. This program basically takes all of the shitty preinstalled crap on your computer and gets rid of it. It's amazing.
Finally, run CCleaner to clear out any cache to save on space you didn't know you were using and to optimize your registry by removing broken links and other assorted issues.
Defraggler is a different cookie. You're probably never going to need to run it, however, it's one of those programs I recommend having even if you never use it. In the event that your harddrive becomes chock full of stuff and seems to be running pretty sluggish, you may need to defragment the files to get things running smoothly again. I find this tool to the be the best for the job.
Here's the list in case you're too lazy and didn't read my article (in the order mentioned):
1.) Grisoft's AVG Free (Antivirus)
2.) Spybot Search and Destroy (Sypware Removal)
3.) Lavasoft Ad-Aware (Sypware Removal)
4.) Malware Bytes (Sypware Removal)
5.) PC Decrapifier (Software Removal)
6.) CCleaner (Cache/Registry Cleaner)
7.) Defraggler (Defragmenter)That brings us to the end of my list. If you know of anything else that could help a PC in need, please post them in the comments below.
The best part about this article? I wrote it on a mac.
Posted by Seriouslysean on 01/16/2009 6:48 PM in Awesome, Geekery, Websites
Comments
Mark
01/16/2009
Good post young giraffe!