Remember last year when I performed in Ok Cogaoke? Well I'm in the running again and need your votes to secure a spot for me to perform.

There is no sign up required. You can vote from as many browsers as your computer has. You can vote once a day (from all browsers) for the next 4 days. Send this to your friends encouraging them to vote for me as well! I'm hoping to end up in the top 5 so I can perform later in the evening. The later in the evening, the more people have enjoyed the free drinks and the rowdier the crowd will be. Check out the links on my Cogaoke Page to see last years performances if you need some convincing< or check the links below.

Last Year?s Cogaoke Performance and Humpty Dance Encore (5m35s in is the best part).

I've always been a fan of this comic! Check it out here.

Over on Drew's Posterious he has a photo of what he dubs "The Drewraffe"!

Thanks Snacks

Flip Camera's are awesome. So are Giraffes. This makes sense.

Thanks, @lakeeriemonster

I'm not sure where this photo came from, but my friend Bill sent it to me and it is pretty sweet. Shirt = Do Want. Everything else in that picture, not so much.

So I met my girlfriends parents for the first time this weekend and her mom has drawings and paintings that her children(all 6 of them) have done over the years. I saw this sweet giraffe drawing done by one of my girlfriends older brothers.

I figured I'd jump in on this Photoshop Friday with something easy. As much as Ferry wants his burrito, today, he will not get one.

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It never gets old. Photoshop Fridays have returned!

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This post has: 1 MP3

Local Philadelphia Blog, Shmittenkitten.com has nominated me as one of Philly's Hottest Nerds. Quest Love is also nominated and is currently blowing the competition out of the water.

So, here is the part where I shamelessly ask you to vote for me, Jonathan Finnegan aka haveboard as Philly's Hottest Nerd.

Oscar from the office has a mug with his picture on it just like Moss from the IT Crowd.

(04:57:06 PM) Mark: aliens

(04:58:11 PM) Ferry: That's where god fucked the earth.

(04:58:24 PM) Ferry: Celestial sex.

Had a conversation with my buddy Justin today about working on websites where the code is 9 different levels of jacked up. I was getting pretty frustrated and the following idea was the product of our Instant Messages.

Sean: I'm going to write a Magic School Bus Book.

Sean: And It's going to be Mrs. Frizzle taking the kids through the internet

Sean: and they're going to stop by this page that I'm working on

Sean: And the bus is going to break down

Sean: so they have to adventure through the 'source'

Sean: And then they're going to get lost in the table maze

Sean: And then the kids will get split up

Justin: And then they die.

Sean: And Mrs Frizzle will save everyone with the firefox addon, TidyHTML.

Justin: Hahahahaha

Justin: PBS needs to pick that up

Sean: And as they're flying away the website will be burning due to all the validation errors.

A giraffe!

Via Snacks and Shit!

This is what happens when you have a really long neck and you want to take a nap.

Yup, Exit Skate Shop is relocating to Northern Liberties and their opening reception is friday. Check haveboard.com for more info.

Yea, this actually happened. Wow.

There is nothing more disappointing than reading my friends respond to people on twitter, and I go to the person's page who they are replying to in order to get context of what my friend is replying to, only to get served with the big fat:

This person has protected their updates.

You need to send a request before you can start following this person.

Total conversation fail. It's like being at a party and having a group conversation, yet one person invited their friend who refuses to do anything but whisper things to that person. That person will then respond out loud to the entire group.

Consider DMing responses to your friends who have protected accounts, or provide context in your reply so that those following you understand what you think is so "AWESOME" or "APPALLING" or whatever.

End rant. Carry on.

I am registered for Cogaoke this year at SXSWi and I need your votes to ensure I'll be singing a Karaoke Classic. I promise you won't be disappointed with my performance. Please Vote for me as often as possible, and as much as possible. I've slipped from 2nd place and need more votes. I apologize for the begging and shameless self promotion.

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I wanted to add a filter to my wordpress theme to make Wordpress's URIs use underscores(_) instead of dashes(-) in it's page titles. I should be able to do the following:

[php]/*

Underscores instead of dashes please

*/

add_filter('sanitize_title_with_dashes', 'sanitize_title_with_underscores', 1, 1);

function sanitize_title_with_underscores($title) {

$title = strip_tags($title);

// Preserve escaped octets.

$title = preg_replace('|%([a-fA-F0-9][a-fA-F0-9])|', '---$1---', $title);

// Remove percent signs that are not part of an octet.

$title = str_replace('%', '', $title);

// Restore octets.

$title = preg_replace('|---([a-fA-F0-9][a-fA-F0-9])---|', '%$1', $title);

$title = remove_accents($title);

if (seems_utf8($title)) {

if (function_exists('mb_strtolower')) {

$title = mb_strtolower($title, 'UTF-8');

}

$title = utf8_uri_encode($title, 200);

}

$title = strtolower($title);

$title = preg_replace('/&.+?;/', '', $title); // kill entities

$title = preg_replace('/[^%a-z0-9 _-]/', '', $title);

$title = preg_replace('/s+/', '_', $title);

$title = preg_replace('|-+|', '_', $title);

$title = trim($title, '_');

return $title;

}[/php]

But nooooooo, it is not on the list of allowed functions you can override.

So instead you need to open yoursite.com/wp-includes/formatting.php and edit the sanitize_title_with_dashes function like so:

[php]function sanitize_title_with_dashes($title) {

$title = strip_tags($title);

// Preserve escaped octets.

$title = preg_replace('|%([a-fA-F0-9][a-fA-F0-9])|', '---$1---', $title);

// Remove percent signs that are not part of an octet.

$title = str_replace('%', '', $title);

// Restore octets.

$title = preg_replace('|---([a-fA-F0-9][a-fA-F0-9])---|', '%$1', $title);

$title = remove_accents($title);

if (seems_utf8($title)) {

if (function_exists('mb_strtolower')) {

$title = mb_strtolower($title, 'UTF-8');

}

$title = utf8_uri_encode($title, 200);

}

$title = strtolower($title);

$title = preg_replace('/&.+?;/', '', $title); // kill entities

$title = preg_replace('/[^%a-z0-9 _-]/', '', $title);

$title = preg_replace('/s+/', '_', $title);

$title = preg_replace('|-+|', '_', $title);

$title = trim($title, '_');

return $title;

}[/php]

You really only need to adit the following three lines:

[php]$title = preg_replace('/s+/', '-', $title);

$title = preg_replace('|-+|', '-', $title);

$title = trim($title, '-');[/php]

to

[php]$title = preg_replace('/s+/', '_', $title);

$title = preg_replace('|-+|', '_', $title);

$title = trim($title, '_');[/php]

If you would like your admin panel to reflect this change, you need to open yoursite.com/wp-admin/options-permalink.php and find "_e('Common settings')" (currently starts on line 147 in version 2.7.1) and change "sample-post" to "sample_post" in table class="form-table".

Unfortunately you will have to make this change every time you upgrade your wordpress install until they allow you to add a filter to the dash function.

I'm a giraffe.

And yes, I created this image, haha.

So there I was, finishing up my work for the day, preparing for a night with the other giraffes from my herd. Ferry, Finn and Mark were going bowling and asked me if I'd meet up with them to hang out and have a few beers. Of course I said yes, it sounded like fun.

As most of you know, I started a new job this monday. I'm not too familiar with the area but North Bowl was pretty close. I've already been walking 45 minutes to work in the mornings, so a little tromp to the bowling alley was nothing.

I stayed late to finish up some work and to give the boys a chance to get to the bowling alley. To prevent any mishaps I asked one of my coworkers for directions. Apparently it was "a few" streets up and right around the corner. Excellent.

I put on my coat and pulled up my hood and headed out in to the brisk evening.

I'll put this in to perspective for you all. I work at the crossing of Fourth and Brown, which is up in Northern Liberties. The place I wanted to head to was at 2nd and Poplar. It SHOULD have been easy.

I started off walking towards 2nd street. After a block or so I thought I'd get clever and look for Poplar while walking up 3rd street. No reason in particular why I turned, I just felt like it.

Anyway, I headed up a few streets and I didn't see Poplar yet, so I figured it must be a bit further. Eventually I came to a fork in the road and I picked the one on the left and kept going. Meanwhile, around me, the houses were turning from middle class to the abodes of those less fortunate, graffiti was springing up a bit more often and the general atmosphere of the place was taking on some seriously negative undertones.

Probably not a good place to be walking at night.

By this point I figured I should probably turn on the GPS on my phone so I knew exactly where the hell I was and where I wanted to head to. After a few moments of fiddling the strangely calm voice of my phone started giving me directions to 2nd and Poplar. Apparently it was 4 miles away. Strange.

I did a quick check of my surroundings and realized I was at North 5th street and Girard. Not that my clever deduction helped me any, I still didn't know where the hell I was in regard to anything else. My phone told me to keep traveling up 5th for a little while. Figuring I was pretty close, I pressed on.

After about 5 minutes I came to a crossing of some streets. I double checked the GPS again.

FUCK.

The phone thought I was driving so it was giving me the long winded instructions. Way to work technology, asshole. There was no option for walking so I just shut the dame thing off. I couldn't find a sign so I checked to my left. Gangsters, about 4 of them on the corner. I probably didn't want to go that way.

So then I checked to my right. More Gangsters, lovely. There were a few things I wanted to do by this point, getting caught in the middle of a turf war was not one of them. It was either keep going forward or turn tail and run back from the way I came. With another look around, I spotted a grocery store a bit further down the road, so I hurried up towards it.

As it started coming further in to view, I started noticing a few things. First and foremost, this place was a fucking shit hole. There were hobos and hookers ALL over the place. I didn't really want to go in at first, so I pulled out my phone and called the two Taxi services I had in my contact list.

Ring, ring ring.

Ring, ring ring.

Nothing. Great, both of them were shut. That left one option; The journey in to the gates of Hell, the Grocery Store known as Cousin's something or other. One thing was certain, I was no cousin to any of these people.

I quickly shuffled my way passed a few of the people by the door. I passed the first person, the second and even the third without any issues. The fourth, however, grabbed my ass. I'm not talking a little brush, this bitch grabbed a whole cheek! Much like Mika's song this girl was BIG (albeit a bit less beautiful). I turned and smirked (What would you do?!) and she said something along the lines of, "OOH! BOY! DON'T BE FRESH!" As if I was the one who grabbed her. I'd have lost my hand in the folds of fat if I tried (not that I'd want to).

Anyway, I hurried inside the supermarket. I went to the first place a little white boy like myself tends to go when things go awry, customer service! As much as I was hoping otherwise, the help was awful. There was a very bored looking girl who couldn't have been older than 15 tending to the counter. Chewing bubble gum and making those god awful crackling noises that everyone and their mother hates.

A few questions later I was left without any more of a lead than I had earlier. Weirdly enough, the security guard overheard a few of my questions and told me his cousin (ironic, I know) was a cab driver and that he would call him to see if he'd pick me up and take me to the bowling alley. Yes, friends, after all that I was still going to get my beer. I needed it.

The security guard made the call, exchanged a few words with someone on the other end, something about having the car and being willing to come out. He made the arrangement and quickly hung up. Apparently the Taxi driving cousin would be here shortly. He said he was going outside so that the dregs wouldn't fuck with his cousin's car. Fantastic!

I don't remember how long passed between the call being made and the guy actually arriving, I wasn't counting, I was sitting in his Security Guard chair twiddling my thumbs.

Eventually, he motioned for me to follow him outside. Standing next to him I looked around a little bit. I didn't see a Taxi cab. He pointed to some silver SUV and said his cousin Mike would be taking me back to the bowling alley.

Now, I have two choices. Do I get in the car and get a ride to the Bowling Alley or do I just pass and walk back the way I came?

It was getting late and I didn't want to be rude so I walked over to the car and knocked on the window. Some dude rolled down the window and I swear he had a joint in his mouth.

"Are you Mike by any chance?"

"Yep."

"Your cousin over there said you'd take me to the Bowling Alley?"

"Get in."

Oh boy. I didn't really have much to lose except my life by this point, so I got in the car. We didn't really talk too much during the car ride. Mike cursed a bit at the traffic, and we made small talk about what we both did for a living. Oddly enough, he was a police officer and he enjoyed being paid to CARRY A GUN.

Buildings were passing in a blur. I finally noticed the alley out of the corner and motioned for Mike to let me off at this corner. I didn't see a meter ticking or anything so I just asked him how much I owed him. He said to give him a 5 and he'd call it even.

I only had a 10 and there was no fucking way I was asking him for change. I gave him the bill and acted like I was being generous by letting him keep it all.

A few long minutes later, I was sitting down with my friends having a beer and eating corndogs and tater tots, as if the previous events never even happened.

I assure you, they did.

While I was watching House, season 5, episode 13, I happened to spot a giraffe in Cutty's baby's room.

Awesome.

This is a giraffe quenching his thirst by causing the moisture in the air to coalesce in to droplets. He then uses his horns to direct the globules in to his mouth. Bliss.

Lake Erie Monster sent us a link to Sarah Silverman speaking to Keith Olbermann about Our former president, George W. Bush (That felt _really_ good to type). She's right, he _didn't_ punch a giraffe.

I found this image on popURLs today and though I should share it with everyone. Good Day!

In the new episode of Flight of the Conchords, Bret is rocking a red giraffe sweatshirt that is the same design as the tshirt I purchased from Choice Shirts.

I decided to check out Spaceballs: The Animated Series on Hulu. It isn't all that good, but this clip above about blogging is hilarious. And I blogged about it.

Also:

Favvotter is my new favorite twitter tool. Pun intended. It show's you what tweets are being favorited, as well as, who is favoriting your tweets.

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XKCD's "Party" is about inviting Rick Astley to a party, and not sing "Never Gonna Give You Up". He also predicts "Yo Dawg" will be the Meme from 2007/2008 that will go Mainstream in 2009. I'm all for it.

Macy's Thanksgiving parade RickRoll:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/wL-hNMJvcyI[/yt]

Also, see the "Yo Dawg" Tumblr.

Yup, 30 rock giraffe spotting! I also have a crush on Tina Fey. That is all.

This is a follow up to Sean?s wonderful post about some great tools for cleaning up your computer. If you haven?t read his article yet, check it out here.

Now that you have your computer nice and clean, lets try to keep it that way! All those nasty virus?s, spyware, and malware came through your connection to the Internet, whether that be from browsing the web or attachments in your email. AVG will do a pretty good job of keeping your email attachments safe. If you didn?t grab that yet, do so immediately.

As far as web browsing, there are a few tools you can use to keep you safe while you surf. And while we are at it, let's get rid of all those ad?s that bug you online.

The absolutely best tool I have found is to update your hosts file with MVPS. Now if you don't know what you host file is, don't feel stupid, most people don't. This will simply update windows to block unwanted websites. Most of the harmful website and ad?s that will wreck havoc on your site are included in that list. This isn?t a tool that runs on your computer or uses any resources, its a file that blocks those unwanted sites. So it keeps you safe with little effort and almost no resources. I have found it invaluable, a must have!

If you are on XP, you can download the file here, and just run the included .BAT file in the archive. If you are using Vista go to the main page and follow the special instructions.

Next, if you are using Firefox to browse the web, which I highly suggest, you can also download an add-on called AdBlockPlus. This little tool blocks most of the ads that the host file will allow through, and it does this right in your browser. You can get it here.

Finally, for the highest level of security, I would recommend using a firewall, just in case anything by passes all of these other systems. I recommend Comodo, it?s a free one that is very powerful. This will monitor ALL your Internet traffic, and stops anything suspicious or harmful. This includes all information going out or in from your system. You can find it here.

With all of these systems in place, it will be VERY difficult for anything nasty to get onto your computer. Good luck and safe browsing!

As much as Giraffes love to eat chili, they much, MUCH prefer a clean PC that is running in tip top shape. Windows users only, Mac users can bask in the glory of not having these problems.

Hopefully everyone will be using this list to configure a brand new computer, the giraffes everywhere will thank you, I assure you. However, I'm quite certain that the majority of you morons will need the list to fix a computer that's already on its way to the dumpster. Either way, after you install this list of software and run 'em, it'll be smooth sailing.

So, for starters, let's talk about this thing called a Virus:

vi-rus [vahy-ruhs] -noun, plural -rus-es.

A segment of self-replicating code planted illegally in a computer program, often to damage or shut down a system or network.

In other words, it's bad. Especially bad if you don't have protection against said invaders. Let's start by getting your PC's defenses up to snuff.

Let's head on over to Grisoft's Website and pick up a copy of AVG Free

Download the version on the left (The basic version) and once it's downloaded, install that bad boy. AVG has never led me astray and I can honestly say I'd give them 5 out of 5 stars. They're that good.

To make sure you're protected from all the nasties on the web, make sure AVG is running (look for the icon on the start menu). Restart your computer just to be sure.

Next on the list, you're going to want to speed things up on your computer. Anything from cache cleansing to spyware removal fall in to this category. I'll start with the most important items first.

Spyware is dangerous. Everyone knows you look at porn but you don't want all those information digging bots to know that, too. Besides, it's more fun when you feel stealthy. Like a ninja.

For spyware removal, I generally use three different programs. I find between the use of all of them, I can catch and get rid of any threat to my system.

Pick up a copy of Spybot Search and Destroy first.

Depending upon your preference, you may want to run this before doing anything else. I'll be honest though, it doesn't really matter.

Once you've got that configured, nab a copy of Lavasoft Ad-Aware and a copy of Malware Bytes.

Run all of those, leaving Malware Bytes until last (as I find it usually does the best cleanup after the others are ran) and rejoice at how well you've done thus far.

Last but not least, we'll move on to general clean up and system maintenance. I don't really need to explain too much here, so I'll just give you the basics.

Go and download the following programs: PC Decrapifier, CCleaner and Defraggler.

Start with PC Decrapifier. You're only going to need to run this one once, anyway. This program basically takes all of the shitty preinstalled crap on your computer and gets rid of it. It's amazing.

Finally, run CCleaner to clear out any cache to save on space you didn't know you were using and to optimize your registry by removing broken links and other assorted issues.

Defraggler is a different cookie. You're probably never going to need to run it, however, it's one of those programs I recommend having even if you never use it. In the event that your harddrive becomes chock full of stuff and seems to be running pretty sluggish, you may need to defragment the files to get things running smoothly again. I find this tool to the be the best for the job.

Here's the list in case you're too lazy and didn't read my article (in the order mentioned):

1.) Grisoft's AVG Free (Antivirus)

2.) Spybot Search and Destroy (Sypware Removal)

3.) Lavasoft Ad-Aware (Sypware Removal)

4.) Malware Bytes (Sypware Removal)

5.) PC Decrapifier (Software Removal)

6.) CCleaner (Cache/Registry Cleaner)

7.) Defraggler (Defragmenter)

That brings us to the end of my list. If you know of anything else that could help a PC in need, please post them in the comments below.

The best part about this article? I wrote it on a mac.

Alex Payne of twitter posted an LOLDAWG!

"YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE REPLS SO WE PUT A REPL IN YO REPL SO YOU CAN CODE WHILE YOU CODE"

What's REPL?

Pete Campbell of Mad Men has some pretty sweet giraffe art in his apartment. DO WANT!

Dude looked like a clean-shaved turtle...

Today is the official one year birthday of the giraffe. It's been a fun first year with some ridiculous posts and some time off from posting. Expect more craziness from us in the coming year as we will all be moving in together.

So, there is a new animal blog in town: reallysharpteeth.com. Welcome them to the interweb, and follow them on twitter.

Also, there's no biting in hockey, WTF!

On behalf of all of us here, we'd like to wish you a happy (and really long) 2009! Google knows that '09 is totally the year of the giraffe!

I'm the newest Giraffe and I've come here to make you fat. Over this last month, I've made chili a total of 3 times now. Each time it came out marginally tastier than every time before it. This bodes well for all of you because I've just about perfected it.

You're going to need the following ingredients before we even get started. So write this down:

- 2 pounds of ground turkey (or beef, whichever you prefer)

- 2 packets of Chili Mix (usually 1 pack per 1 lb of meat)

- 1 medium sized onion

- 1 or 2 bell peppers (you'll end up using half of each, so pick pretty colors)

- 1 or 2 jalapeno peppers (again, pick pretty colors)

- 1 can of tomato sauce (8oz)

- 1 can of Kidney Beans (14oz, light or dark red)

- 1 can of Black Beans (14oz)

- 1 can of creamed corn (8oz, use sweet corn if you don't like creamed)

- 1 can of diced tomatos (14oz, get flavored ones if you like)

1.) Start by dicing up the onion, bell peppers and the jalapeno peppers (remove the seeds). Try to make the pieces as small as you can. Use only half of each bell pepper. You can use more if you like but it might overwhelm the chili.

2.) Using a small frying pan with the heat set on low-med, begin browning the onion.

3.) Get a large pot and begin cooking the meat, making sure not to burn it. Settle for low to medium heat if you're worried about burning it. Put the onions and diced peppers in with the meat to add some flavor while it cooks.

4.) While the meat is browning, using a separate bowl start mixing together the rest of the ingredients:

First add the 2 packets of chili mix, followed by the 8oz can of tomato sauce. Fill the 8oz can with water and add that, too.

Then add the 14oz can of diced tomatoes. For the cans of beans, you're only going to want to use half of each. Roughly 8oz of kidney beans and 8oz of black beans.

Finally add the 8oz can of creamed corn and stir until it smoothes out. Make sure your meat isn't burning!

5.) When the meat is cooked all the way through, drain any juice from it. After that, pour the chili mix from the bowl in with the meat. Keep the temperature around med to low and simmer the chili for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

6.) After the 15 minutes, turn the stove top off, move the chili to another burner and let it cool for 10 minutes.

This recipe serves a shitload.

In this post, I will list the top 10 overrated albums that everyone keeps insisting I should totally love. Keep in mind I've made a legitimate effort to find a number of these enjoyable, but have been unable to stomach. No links or sample MP3s for this list because odds are you already have each of these and have tried to convince me I am so very wrong.

So without further ado here are my picks for the worst and/or most overrated albums of two-thousand-and-hate!

10. Times New Viking - Rip It Off

9. TV on the Radio - Dear Science

8. Deerhunter - Microcastle

7. Why? - Alopecia

6. MGMT - Oracular Spectacular

5. Hot Chip - Made In The Dark

4. Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs

3. Santogold - Santogold

2. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

1. Girl Talk - Feed the Animals

So over the course of the past few years, a number of friends have come to rely on me for sources of radical new music. In an effort to bring some attention to what I consider the best albums released in aught-eight, this post was born. By all means, feel free to chime in with how off the mark or totally right I am in the comments.

Each album link goes to the corresponding Amazon MP3 Store page or physical CD product page. Though you could likely find any of these albums on iTunes or similar services.

10. French Kicks - Swimming

9. Flying Lotus - Los Angeles

8. Bring Me The Horizon - Suicide Season

7. Black Kids - Partie Traumatic

6. The Dandy Warhols - ...Earth To The Dandy Warhols...

5. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes

4. Minus The Bear - Acoustics

3. Van She - V

2. Ra Ra Riot - The Rhumb Line

1. Annuals - Such Fun

And now to whet your appetite, here's a selected track from each album!

This post has: 10 MP3's

I recently started the process of purchasing eyeglasses online and this post is pulled from an email I put together to assist a friend with getting started, as well. Enjoy!

--

Until my only recent pair of glasses broke a couple of weeks ago, I had only purchased glasses from my optometrist's office. However, breaking my only decent pair and my doctor being unable to fit me in for an appointment for a few weeks, I opted for a stop-gap eye exam at LensCrafters for an up-to-date prescription so that I could get some replacement specs. I did end up paying a bit more than I would have liked for the pair I found (link), but I needed some THAT day & I'm happy with them.

Once I started looking online I found quite a bit of good info on buying glasses online and paying 1/2 and 1/3 the price I would have at my eye doctor's office. I've since bought 2 additional pairs of glasses online (one & two) and have developed a mild addiction to looking for even more. It's helpful to know what shape frames look good on you, since you won't be able to try these on. This is also why measurements are rather important in looking for specs online. A good idea is to check out a pair in a retail shop so you can find a size that you're comfortable with. Then look up that frames' model ID number and pull the measurements from that.

Once you're equipped with an up-to-date prescription, some measurements for frame sizes that you like, you only really need one more thing--which is your PD or pupil distance. This is something that your eye doctor can measure and provide you with, but likely it won't be listed on your prescription sheet unless you specifically asked for it. You can either use a ruler or this PDF to asertain your PD on your own. Just hold up the ruler/paper to your eyes and either have someone mark down this distance between the middle of your two pupils, or if no one's around, either a mirror & pen or a camera & Photoshop can get you the same info.

Some sites require you provide a PD measurement to order glasses, others don't. It's not super-critical but I like to provide as much info as possible when I order so I can be assured my glasses are as fit for me as possible.

And finally, here are a few of the better online shops that I've found. You'll still pay a bit of a premium for brand name specs but you'll end up saving money either way.

http://www.go-optic.com/

http://www.coolframes.com/

http://www.framesdirect.com/

http://www.sunsrus.com/

http://www.eyebuydirect.com/

Today, I sneezed in my office about 6 or 7 times and no one said "bless you". I posted this to twitter and what do you know, a slew of bless you's and gazoontite's. Thanks everyone!

PS: I made this post while rendering. Ah, multi-tasking.

and it is epic...

Update: wonder how long this one will last:

SNL GIRAFFES from Micheal Howard on Vimeo.

I saved it and can hopefully upload a QT version soon. C'mon cease and desist!

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(3:02:59) omgferry Fun Fact: I was murdered in Burma.

(3:03:08) magicmarkker1 shut your whore face

(3:03:15) omgferry Haha

(3:03:43) omgferry I don't even know where Burma is.

(3:04:01) magicmarkker1 asia somewhere i believe

(3:04:21) omgferry http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Baganmyo.jpg

(3:04:22) omgferry Sick.

(3:04:29) omgferry I was totally killed on top of that awesome thing.

(3:04:51) magicmarkker1 by a dragon

(3:04:59) omgferry Yep

(3:05:06) omgferry I had it coming, really.

(3:05:12) magicmarkker1 well your a whimp

(3:05:13) omgferry I stole his true love.

(3:05:21) magicmarkker1 I would have eaten the dragons heart from the inside

(3:05:26) omgferry Who was, ironically, a lesbian.

(3:06:08) omgferry I wanna write a memoir about the absurd fiction that is my life.

(3:06:31) magicmarkker1 do it

(3:07:01) omgferry First off, I wasn't so much born as conjured...

(3:07:38) magicmarkker1 were there ingredients used in this conjuring, if so which? If not, what was the chant used to conjure you

(3:08:08) magicmarkker1 you could totally write details based on the answers you give me

(3:08:13) omgferry It was actually a recipe for bbq chicken gone horribly wrong.

(3:08:21) magicmarkker1 HAHAHA

(3:08:37) omgferry Or... right?

(3:09:38) magicmarkker1 I dunno, guess it depends on who you ask

(3:10:06) omgferry All things considered, I think I came out alright.

(3:10:13) omgferry I've only toppled 2 governments.

(3:10:21) magicmarkker1 you don't smell anything like BBQ though

(3:10:36) omgferry I did when I first came into this world.

(3:10:43) magicmarkker1 ah

(3:10:48) magicmarkker1 wore off through the ages?

(3:11:02) omgferry In the shower.

(3:11:16) magicmarkker1 not as cool but i can accept it

(3:11:37) omgferry Not everything can be as epic as my arrival and eventual downfall.

(3:12:29) magicmarkker1 so what happened in between your arrival and your downfall, something had to have happened, don't pull a Jesus on me plz

(3:12:43) omgferry Oh, plenty happened.

(3:13:13) omgferry In fact, I hung out with JC for those 30-odd years there's no written account of him.

(3:13:26) omgferry Point of fact, there WAS written history about our antics.

(3:13:37) magicmarkker1 can you shed some light on said antics?

(3:13:40) omgferry Though he used it all for rolling papers during one crazy weekend.

(3:14:07) omgferry The Son of God could roll a magnificent joint.

(3:15:07) magicmarkker1 so thats how he walked on water

(3:15:18) omgferry That's a common misconception.

(3:15:24) omgferry He didn't so much walk and moonwalked on water.

(3:15:37) omgferry But there were no ways to describe it as moonwalking in those days.

(3:15:46) omgferry So it went down in history as a normal stroll.

(3:15:53) omgferry I assure you, he had much more style.

(3:16:40) magicmarkker1 Where you there for the water into wine specacle?

(3:16:47) magicmarkker1 Were*

(3:17:06) omgferry Unfortunately, I was sleeping off a major hangover from the night before when he turned water into jagerbombs.

(3:17:42) magicmarkker1 ok, well all that stuff is already known about him. What happened while you two were growing up

(3:18:19) omgferry Dude had angels visiting him in the night, like, 2-3 times a week.

(3:18:23) omgferry This got old after a while.

(3:18:48) omgferry Which is why we actually went on a roadtrip to what you now call Ibiza.

(3:19:08) omgferry Fun Fact: We founded the first ever nightclub.

(3:19:20) omgferry It was mainly a place to get away from his dad.

(3:19:31) omgferry Who was always going on about having to die for humanity.

(3:19:33) magicmarkker1 Joseph? or his real dad

(3:19:39) omgferry Big guy.

(3:19:43) omgferry However!

(3:19:54) omgferry Joseph never gets the credit he is due.

(3:20:48) omgferry Prior to JC showing up he was a pretty laid back guy.

(3:21:08) omgferry Then he's randomly saddled with all these "raising the son of God" responsibilities.

(3:21:27) omgferry Which is a total no pressure situation, y'know.

(3:22:37) magicmarkker1 yeah, he handled it pretty well though I thought

(3:22:48) omgferry Oh, totally.

(3:22:57) omgferry But the good book pretty much skips over him.

(3:23:00) omgferry It's all Mary, Mary!

(3:23:09) omgferry Who, btw, total prude.

(3:23:24) magicmarkker1 Bummer

(3:24:26) magicmarkker1 so what are your feelings towards the old testament and the new

(3:25:33) omgferry Honestly, I wasn't in the area TOO much for the old testament stuff.

(3:26:05) omgferry Prior to meeting up with J, I was kicking it in the far east with Confucius and the like.

(3:26:17) omgferry But I do know that's when God had style.

(3:26:30) omgferry Wiping out the first born child of everyone in Egypt?

(3:26:33) omgferry That took balls.

(3:26:40) magicmarkker1 Totally.

(3:26:54) magicmarkker1 But if you were JC's homeboy, why weren't you in the book?

(3:27:16) omgferry I told you, there were some accounts but after that one smoke-filled weekend all that went away.

(3:27:35) omgferry Shortly after that he cleaned up his act and started finally following his father's plans for him.

(3:27:44) omgferry We parted on good terms but I didn't stick around much longer.

(3:27:53) omgferry His apostles were kind of annoying.

(3:28:00) magicmarkker1 Is that when you left for the east and where you finally met your end?

(3:28:13) omgferry No, no, not by a long shot.

(3:28:41) omgferry I haven't even gone into my time up in Scandinavia with those crazy vikings.

(3:29:06) magicmarkker1 Oh, do tell, please.

(3:30:28) omgferry Well, first off, I was on the boat with Leif Ericson t hat "discovered" North America, back in the day.

(3:30:42) omgferry Waaay before those pansies in Italy & Spain got around to it.

(3:30:54) magicmarkker1 Awesome

(3:31:07) omgferry He was a good dude.

(3:31:29) magicmarkker1 Were you down with the rape and pillaging of the native americans?

(3:32:00) omgferry Nah, that really wasn't my bag. The problem with vikings is that they all go a little stir crazy after months at sea.

(3:32:14) magicmarkker1 Understandably so.

(3:32:17) omgferry So once we found land they were like a bunch of drunken sailors on shore leave.

(3:32:41) magicmarkker1 What did you do then in North America when you got there

(3:32:51) omgferry That's when I first met the American Indians.

(3:32:59) omgferry And maaaaan, they had shit figured out.

(3:33:22) omgferry JC probably would have vibed with them a lot more than the rest of the squares in the middle east.

(3:33:39) omgferry They were really the first hippies, so to speak.

(3:33:46) omgferry They didn't even have much notion of ownership.

(3:33:54) omgferry Everything and everyone was pretty much come and go as needed.

(3:34:05) omgferry Granted, there was the occasional tribal war.

(3:34:21) magicmarkker1 Can you explain to me the role of the peace pipe?

(3:34:41) omgferry Pretty much the same as it is today.

(3:34:49) omgferry You think you're stressed after a long day of coding?

(3:34:55) omgferry Try tracking buffalo for 2 weeks.

(3:35:17) omgferry That shit will give you the itch to hit the pipe and rattle a few teepees.

(3:36:29) magicmarkker1 Interesting, did you come into contact with any tribe shaman? If so, were they really magicians or just a hoax?

(3:38:11) omgferry Like most things, it was a mixed bag.

(3:38:22) omgferry A lot of them were just old stoners who managed to learn a few petty tricks.

(3:38:27) omgferry But a few of 'em, man.

(3:38:36) omgferry They had tapped into nature.

(3:39:09) omgferry They knew how to communicate with the environment around them.

(3:39:22) magicmarkker1 I guess that could help out a bit huh

(3:39:28) omgferry Oh, totally.

(3:39:47) omgferry You ever try tracking food down on your own?

(3:39:52) omgferry That shit is tough.

(3:40:26) magicmarkker1 Sounds like they made you do it on your own at some point when you got there

(3:40:35) omgferry Well, yeah.

(3:40:47) omgferry You can't just roll up looking like I do and earn the trust of these oldheads.

(3:41:02) omgferry You needed to prove your worth before they considered you one of the tribe.

(3:41:12) magicmarkker1 I see.

(3:41:20) magicmarkker1 What did you have to do?

(3:41:52) omgferry Well, I had to lead the hunt one season so the rest of the tribe could eat & make clothing, etc.

(3:42:09) omgferry There was a whole spiritual aspect to it too.

(3:42:24) omgferry Like, you couldn't just wander around till you found some pack of animals.

(3:42:30) omgferry You had to understand them on some level.

(3:42:35) omgferry Pretty trippy shit.

(3:42:42) magicmarkker1 Interesting. So what happened next?

(3:43:18) omgferry Well, after we successfully tracked our hunt and managed to run them off a cliff (buffalo aren't the smartest of creatures) we pretty much partied for a month.

(3:43:28) omgferry Which is the crux of why I think those cats had life figured out.

(3:43:40) omgferry They work hard then share the wealth (and women) with everyone.

(3:43:49) magicmarkker1 sounds pretty awesome, hunt for 2 weeks then party for a month

(3:43:55) omgferry Yeah, it was a nice setup.

(3:44:07) omgferry We travelled around quite a bit.

(3:44:14) omgferry Generally following warm weather.

(3:44:23) omgferry Wearing hides all the time gets itchy.

(3:44:52) magicmarkker1 I could imagine.

(3:45:41) omgferry Shit all went downhill once Chris and all those cats showed up.

(3:45:59) omgferry Bringing all kinds of guns & disease and whatnot.

(3:46:19) magicmarkker1 Did you peace out then or did you stay to help fight?

(3:46:32) omgferry I was never much of a fighter.

(3:46:42) omgferry I did what I could in the first few skirmishes.

(3:46:48) omgferry But peaced out shortly after.

(3:47:03) magicmarkker1 I would have peaced out once I saw the polio blankets

(3:47:14) omgferry Yeah, you ever smell smallpox?

(3:47:18) omgferry That shit is RANCID.

(3:47:52) magicmarkker1 All right so you left after the smallpox blankets, thats what I meant, not polio. Where did you go from there?

(3:48:23) omgferry I kept heading south, hoping I could recapture the feel good vibe the natives up north had going on.

(3:48:45) omgferry Unfortunately, the whole hemisphere was on a sharp decline.

(3:49:33) omgferry I managed to book passage back to the old world and spent a little time checking out what the "developed

(3:49:40) omgferry " world had going on, while I was away.

(3:50:31) magicmarkker1 Find anything worth talking about?

(3:51:08) omgferry Nothing too spectacular. By this time nation-states were pretty well developed and the whole place had a very stiff feeling.

(3:51:14) omgferry Monarchies are a major drag.

(3:51:55) omgferry I eventually headed south to Africa only to continue on and eventually find myself back in the far east.

(3:52:18) omgferry Things surprisingly hadn't changed too much there.

(3:52:34) omgferry I mean, the names were different and they had these sick fireworks now.

(3:52:43) omgferry But the overall feel of the place was more or less unchanged.

(3:53:33) magicmarkker1 You never mentioned anything about ninjas and samurai, i'm guessing you never saw or met any?

(3:54:03) omgferry I encountered a few in my travels. But I was never a major player in that scene.

(3:54:14) omgferry They were very big on honor.

(3:54:16) omgferry Which I can dig.

(3:54:25) omgferry But not so much the whole disemboweling thing.

(3:54:27) omgferry I never got that.

(3:54:44) omgferry Samurai, that is.

(3:55:00) omgferry Ninjas were actually usually just petty thieves who wore a lot of black.

(3:55:33) magicmarkker1 Well put, so is this where you came to meet your doom?

(3:55:46) omgferry Unfortunately, yes.

(3:56:07) omgferry Shortly after I arrived I was staying in a small town on the outskirts of this epic temple.

(3:56:21) omgferry The people all worshiped this dragon that supposedly lived in the temple.

(3:56:32) omgferry I was under the impression that all those characters were long gone.

(3:57:24) omgferry I caught the eye of this one bird who was supposedly betrothed to this lizard.

(3:57:43) omgferry I figured she was on some metaphorical shit.

(3:58:03) omgferry After one night of too much sake, I found out she was quite literal.

(3:58:39) magicmarkker1 So you went to confront the dragon?

(3:58:56) omgferry Not so much confront as trip over.

(3:59:23) omgferry I was making a hasty retreat the morning after when I quite literally stepped on his tail.

(3:59:28) omgferry I thought it was a rock.

(3:59:47) magicmarkker1 That can't be good

(3:59:54) omgferry Dragons have this thing about their tails.

(4:00:00) omgferry I don't know it's some phallic thing.

(4:00:24) omgferry Anyway, grumpy and pissed off that I had just slept with his bride-to-be, he made quick work of me.

I don't know where you get your facts, but I like em...

This post has: 1 Image

and someone bought him a hat that is in the likeness of a giraffe. I am totally jealous. Shitty picture I know but deal with it!

Ferry, Mark, and myself joined the Indy Hall Crew for their 1 Year Birthday Party at Triumph Brewing Company in Old City this past Sunday. It was quite a good time. I recently bought a Flip Video Camera and documented some of the evenings Shenanigans. I hope I'm not making any enemies by posting all these videos (Which are not totally in order):

The beginning of the birthday Bash

Indy Hall LTLposters.com print

Indy Hall Birthday Shirts

Triumph pan around the party

More panning around the party

More shots of the brew tanks

The Crowd and Some Video Game Music

Beer on the Walls

mmmm, food

Sponsors

LTLprints.com and ChoiceShirts.com Sponsorship

Sponsor Wall

@srcasm strips to the sponsors

TShirt Toss with Drew and Jesse

Where the speech will happen

Geoff and Alex Speak

Video Game Music Live Performance

Happy Birthday to Indy Hall from Anoog

Finger Food

Sign your name!

Signing the Indy Hall Poster

DRINK YOUR FACES OFF!

Petting His Messenger Bag

Making Faces

Rachel Stealing my hat and some Signage.

@cardiacdisaster and @interjection Edit

Crushing Heads

Alex setting up the intro to the DVD

Intro to the Indy Hall Video.

@cardiacdisaster spitting ice at @interjection, sortuv

Sherm eats ice cubes from Uranus

@magicmarkker is young enough to be Suzy's son

opps, look what found it's way to my video camera

Alex drinking

Alex was too awesome, too fast!

Alex can't hold his alcohol

Cleaning up Alex's mess

Where's Alex's sippy cup?

Obama said it's past Ferry's bedtime

Geoff explaining werewolf

An "anonymous South Devon benefactor with a fondness for giraffes gave the zoo £36,000" which they purchased a structure for Yoda as well as other giraffes to stand in for safer veterinarian exams. A giraffe named Yoda? That's just awesome! Now if they could only get Yoda a lady friend, he's be all set.

Left Handed toons today has giraffes in it, because they are awesome. Who farted?

When watching a DVD, the finder in OSX turns off the ability to take a screen shot. You can get around this by opening Terminal, and typing in the following:

[code]screencapture -i ~/Desktop/screenshot.png[/code]

Terminal is located here:

[code]Applications -> Utilities -> Terminal[/code]

This will put screenshot.png on your desktop.

so we put a beer in yo beer so you can drink while you drink

so we put a clock in yo clock so you can tell time while you tell time

check out lolzibit while you're at it

This past week, if you follow me(@haveboard), @karalafleur, @cardiacdisaster, or @giraffes, you were well aware of the castle storming that went down this past week. We hit up Time (old Ludwigs), Indy Hall, and Alex HIllman's place, getting rowdy on a weeknight. It was a good time!

And I'll just let that image speak for itself.

haveboard: can you tweak some things in teh style sheet

haveboard: sidebar menu is not tight enough

haveboard: inputs need widening

Ferry: That's what she said.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/BoMKgHgp_SI[/yt]

This is too awesome not to repost. I found it on Luke's Flickr Page. I want one!

I've got my niece Teagan started early.

Come out and party to benefit Paine's Park!

Saturday, June 28 from 9pm to 1am in South Philadelphia at Urban Outfitters' private space in the Naval Yard. This space is beautiful, complete with old industrial memorabilia and koi ponds. Event features free food and beer, a professional skateboard demo set up by Nocturnal skateshop, art for show / sale, great performers, and a slew of other entertainment. For more information, including artists and performers and a map, click here: www.painesparkproject.org/painesworld/index.html

There will be free buses running loops specifically for the party, check the link above for the stops.

If you want to get tickets online, get there through the link above. If you want to buy in person ($2 cheaper), they are on sale at Urban Outfitters stores (University City & Walnut Street locations).

A lot of us have been working hard to get this event together, so come out and have some fun for a good cause!

This guy is the ultimate soccer ninja.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/thOdWgS2B4s[/yt]

For those of you who didn't know, the New Testament is the sequel and we all know that sequels are never quite as good as the original.

Came across this absurd/hilarious sketch from a message board I loiter on. Starts off a little slow but gets excellent, quickly.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/_32x6uZR95o[/yt]

I just watched this Colbert clip On giraffes being kosher and cannot believe he would advocate the eating of the worlds most wonderful creature. Shame on you Steven Colbert.

I've recently been playing around with MAMP and setting up all the sites I work on locally. I also wanted to test htaccess modrewrite (post on this to come) but am not ready to pony up for MAMP Pro at this time for the easy Virtual Host support. I accomplished this with the help of Eli Horne and he had the same idea about writing it up (which coincidentally went up soon after I posted a tweet about prepping this post). Eli's post is pretty straight forward for the tech savvy, but I wanted something simpler but also more obvious of how to set up multiple local development sites, which results in lots of screen shots and a much longer post. I feel the two posts compliment each other.

As Eli stated, the instructions may vary, given your particular setup. I'm running 10.4.11 on an Intel Mac.

Maybe I went overboard. Maybe someone will find it more helpful since they may not be comfortable using Terminal. Anyway, on to the step by step.

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Ferry (aka mikehimself) hasn't been feeling well, and he may be the first ever to Tweet Out of Work.

I do not intend to start a Browser War, or a Mac vs. PC crusade, but I was amazed when I discovered how deep in IE's menu's to disable javascript.

Tools->Internet Options->Security Tab->Internet->Custom Level->Scripting->Active Scripting->Disable

They don't even use the word Javascript, which makes it extra difficult to find, in my opinion. Google lead me to this site to explain it.

This photo showcases everything I love about Photoshop...

FERRY: Man, wtf, all of Facebook's "you may also know..." are my friends' hot younger sisters. I ain't trying to catch an ass kicking, but FB ain't making it any easier.

ME: http://mashable.com/2008/05/20/facebook-traffic-decline/

ME: OLD

ME: fb OLD

FERRY: So gimme a better site to hookup with friends of friends.

ME: real life dude

ME: try it sometime

FERRY: That only works in limited capacity.

FERRY: And the documentation sucks.

ME: hahhahahahaa

Over the weekend, I started to look into Disqus.com, which is a commenting system for sites which supports openID. Unfortunately I have yet to be able to sign up with them as I do not want to create yet another new account with a service. They support multiple openID providers, such as wordress.com, which I already have an account for. This should be easy, right?

This post has: 5 Images

ZOMG I know what I'm going to do this weekend!

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/e5QveX3-1O8[/yt]

Portal is too much fun!

ORLY should totally be an official word for scrabble. I'm going to start LOLScrabble.

"Are you lonely? Tired of working on your own? Do you hate making decisions?"

Find other awesome shit from bullshit.tumblr

"you twitting shit!"

Twitting shit, the new talking shit. Get with it!

"Granted they don't actually rape anyone..."

In regards to Justice Stress.

I was cleaning up screen shots on my desktop and came across this misinterpreted chat between Mark and Myself. Too funny not to share:

Mark: "man i was at some dudes house from 7-11 last night removing viruses from his computer"

Haveboard: friending 7-11 heads for their Bawls, are you?

How many credits do you think that's worth?

http://www.break.com/index/she-has-a-boyfriend.html

"I always forget normal people don't know wtf != means."

SWING BATTA!

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/Zi8nzTjJXOI[/yt]

The Titty Kitty! Firefox is cutting edge!

Ben Stein's new movie asks some interesting questions.... I am eager to watch his exciting new film.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/xGCxbhGaVfE[/yt]

And there was much rejoicing.

http://www.demonoid.com

A World War II era German sea mine recently washed ashore in Bridgwater Bay, Somerset, UK. In the interest of safety and awesomeness, authorities detonated the mine in a controlled explosion. Props to the Daily Mail for the rad story and accompanying photo.

Eric: "Put that on your blog and smoke it!"

I like to overwrite index files on my weekends.

You were my favorite AIR app for keeping up with twitter. Why did you leave me. Why did you stop working? Was it something I said? I really hope we can work this out. We've had some good times together and I'd just like to have that back again.

I thought you'd never turn around and desert me?

So in my database class I came up with two functions for inserting and updating. They are both smaller and save me a bunch of query typing that I used to do.

The functions:

[php]

// Function for inserting

function insert($table, $values) {

$query = "INSERT INTO ".$table." (" . implode(', ' , array_keys($values)) . ") VALUES (" . implode(', ' , array_values($values)) . ");";

return mysql_query($query, $this->link);

}

// Function for updating

function update($table, $values, $id) {

$updates = "";

$num = count($array);

$count = 0;

foreach($values AS $key => $value) {

$count++;

if($count == $num ) {

$updates .= $key." = ".$value." ";

} else {

$updates .= $key." = ".$value.", ";

}

}

$query = "UPDATE ".$table." SET ".$updates." WHERE id = $id;";

return mysql_query($query, $this->link);

}

[/php]

Here is how you would use them:

[php]

//The array is set up as 'db_field_name' => 'value to insert'

$values = array(

"title" => "'".$title."'",

"pagename" => "'".$page."'",

"increment" => "'".$increment."'"

);

$db->insert("db_table_here", $values);

//For updating you do the same array and use this $db value

$db->update("db_table_here", $values, $id);

[/php]

It's pretty simple and works pretty well for me, hope someone finds a use for it.

I've recently finished the newest Dresden Files and it is in my opinion the most intense book so far. Ferry would probably disagree, but Small Favor is my favorite so far with Dead Beat in a close second.

Today when I got to work and opened popurls I saw a headline that said something along the lines of "How 'Slaughterhouse Five' was born." So I clicked the link and started reading the story, and it explains how Kurt Vonnegut was taken as a POW during WWII during the firebombing of Dresden. Obviously the name Dresden caught my nerds eye and I told Ferry about the article. After a couple of minutes he messaged me with the reference of "Dresden" and "Fire", is it a coincidence that Harry Dresdens magic of choice is fire? I think not! Now, I don't remember hearing of "fireboming of Dresden, Germany" in school, but grade school and high school is a long time, I probably don't remember a lot of things that I heard or learned during those years so it's no surprise that I didn't put two and two together until today.

I don't want to post any spoilers in case anyone who frequents this site reads the books and haven't had a chance to finish the book yet. But if you've read any of the other books you know that Butcher leaves each book pretty much wrapped up and nothing is left hanging. This book isn't much different in that aspect except that this book makes you speculate on what is going to happen to a few of the characters(other than Harry) in the next book.

There is a lot of action in this book, from the very first chapter until the end it's non-stop awesomeness. If you're a sci-fi fan and I would highliy recommend this series.

Butcher is also writing a novella set in the Dresden universe that you can read about here.

Japanese master architects Kiyonobu Nakagame recently updated their website, which includes a series of stunning photos of House in Sendai-Kasumi. It's essentially a black slab of a building with a jagged roof and lots of sharp angles.

The rest of the firm's work is well worth checking out, if you're a sucker for ultra-modern industrial design as much as I am.

This post has: 3 Images

From my observation of the photos in this post, Pierce Brosnan is slowly transforming into the Burger King.

This post has: 3 Images

Little dude doesn't seem to like cats on his lawn. And he's an unstoppable enforcer of his rules.

whoever is behind this photograph, and marry them.

This is really funny. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I watched the entire thing.

Props.

Ferry: I don't think I could ever date someone so clueless about the internet.

Ferry: YES, I SAID IT.

Ferry: The internet and Ferry. We're a package deal.

Guess who's recently developed an allergy to peanuts.

It would seem that man's long time undisputed reign over the world of art and design is coming to an end, as (at least one) elephant is able to produce a self-portrait of itself using a brush and ink/paint.

Pretty soon we'll have prairie dogs who can crop and adjust photos and hippos who can program databases. Start getting those resumes in order.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/_LHoyB81LnE[/yt]

'nough said

Nice to see our fellow long-necked brethren are making things happen in the world.

Photoshop Disasters is an awesome website showcasing truly awful piece of Photoshop work with clumsy manipulation, senseless comping, lazy cloning and thoughtless retouching.

A lot of the mistakes made me laugh out loud. And these are the people making the big bucks?!?!

In a complete feel-good story, NPR reports an incident in which a 31-year-old NY man takes pity on his would-be mugger, gives him his coat, and buys him dinner.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, "Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm."

Read the full story.

The Poetic Prophet (AKA The SEO Rapper) is back with another marketing rap. This time he describes how web standards and proper design can affect the ranking and conversion of pages on your site.

There's nothing I can possibly add that would be of any value. Behold the glory of the below video.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/a0qMe7Z3EYg[/yt]

Mark was so beat from ~14mile bike ride that he got to TMoms, and somehow thought he was going to eat 20 perogies.

He only finished 13. Zero Points.

Puzzles is survived by by her two herd mates named Stella and Twigga. You can visit them here.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/jwMj3PJDxuo[/yt]

http://www.ImprovEverywhere.com

Over 200 people freeze in place on cue in Grand Central Station in New York. This is one of over 70 different missions Improv Everywhere has executed over the past six years in New York City.

I think the name of this says everything and I am not going to even bother posting my opinion. I will say this though, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/fUeoem1gR3s[/yt]

The gang over at Gyro recently gave Steven Stein an overhaul to his website. The design didn't change much, but it is now way more Search Engine Friendly from a web perspective, and functionally more user friendly from a CMS perspective.

Steinski is a great dude, and I'm really happy to have met him, and have the opportunity to work with him. Check his site out, and if you still can't figure out who he is or what he is up to or why he is awesome, visit google, and search yourself a clue.

Having just watched a particularly disturbing news clip (be glad I'm not linking to it) on YouTube, I needed something super adorable to rinse out my brain a bit. Keeping with Mark's red panda post from a few days ago, I guess I don't really need an excuse to post this excellent video of an adorable welsh corgi puppy. Enjoy!

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/bebLZfd1Ulc[/yt]

"it was working earlier"

If you didn't know, the internetisseriousbusiness.com. If you don't know what it is to be Rick Rolled, you probably just found out.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/Jkjv9WbrxHQ[/yt]

(details)

In case you need some back story, there is even a Pop-Up Video for .

[yt]http://youtube.com/v/ZOU8GIRUd_g[/yt]

Thanks to jennlukas.com for the pop-up video link.

Boston Dynamics are still hard at work on BigDog, the robot with four legs that somewhat resembles an evil robotic canine overlord.

Video of BigDog made its rounds on these internets a few months ago, but this new vid shows off some really incredible advances in the project. It's now able to navigate snow-covered hills, ice patches, and takes a kick like a champ.

I'd suggesting turning off the sound in this video and possibly play some dance music as BigDog's constant humming gets a little creepy.

BigDog on YouTube

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/v/W1czBcnX1Ww[/yt]

This Guy is REALLY enjoying this sandwich.

He win's breakfast, lunch AND dinner!

Youtube Link!

Depression hits losers hardest. That, plus neck-belts, Cockpuncher, and all indoor smoking limited to 1 room in Iowa--all part of The Onion's upcoming movie, aptly titled... The Onion Movie!

I just returned from a long weekend in Austin, TX, attending the Film & Interactive portion of South By Southwest. My brother had a short film playing, so I was able to score a pass for free. Overall, the trip was several levels of awesome!

Highlights include:

- The Midnight Shorts block that my brother's film, Knock Knock was a part of

- I Can Has Cheezburger web panel

- Lots of really cute blonde girls with southern accents

- Awesome parties

- Open bars

- The Finnegan Shuffle

Here's a few of short films that played in the same block as Knock Knock (which is also embedded below):

Knock Knock

Mano-A-Mano (Warning: Wear headphones if watching this one at work)

Spider

And just found out yesterday.

This made me smile.

The Red Panda or Lesser Panda, Ailurus fulgens ("shining cat"), is a mostly herbivorous mammal, specialized as a bamboo feeder. For those of you unfamiliar with my cute and cuddly friend here, the Red Panda is the cutest animal in existence and you may try and dispute this claim but you will fail in your quest.

On my Mac at work I have set my desktop background on both of my monitors to the above image. When I use the F11 key to hide all windows I get the urge to hug my monitor. Call me weird but I almost did it. Besides the giraffe, the red panda just may be the next best animal in the world.

This post has: 1 Image

There's nothing I can say to describe the sheer awesomeness that is Metal Dog.

is the pain I put on fools, who don't know what time it is!

Yes, I know this commercial is like 4 years old but I don't even care because it's still hilarious.

Taken from green.yahoo.com. The Vatican has been telling "the faithful" to beware of new sins. Granted that a few of these "new sins" are just plain old common sense and moral things that humans should not do. For example: do not pollute the Earth. Well, no shit.

Other sins at msnbc.com are things such as drugs, which "weaken the mind and obscure intelligence," and also pedophilia(which in my opinion the Church should be following that rule themselves AMIRITE?)

All of these "new sins" are just shit that should be common sense to any individual with an IQ over 15. Down with organized religion!

SXSW technically hasn't even started, yet Twitter is already feeling the affects effects.

Really, America?

After 8 years with George W. Bush and his approval rating at an abysmal 19%, do you really want DC politics as usual for the next administration? Hillary Clinton has been launching a Rove-style fear campaign against Obama, right out of the Republican handbook and you're all lining up to get fucked again. wtf?!

This post has: 1 MP3

There's a new Cool Guy in town.

So when I got back from lunch I checked popurls and I found this little gem r2d2 computer case.

This case is awesome and I want one. I hope this case has built in audio that makes the chirps and beeps like r2, I don't know what for but it should be there. Someone needs to make a C3PO version too.

This post has: 9 Images

We love you! (no homo)

Did you ever have that one computer illiterate friend that is always asking you "How do you do this?" or "How do you do that?" with their computer.

Ever bang your head off of your keyboard trying to explain how to do whatever it is you are asking?

Try Jing, and easily record, upload and share a little video of exactly what you are doing on your computer, to help explain to the computer illiterate, how to use their computer.

Watch the video about it at JingProject.com if you still have questions.

(Good find, Ferry!)

The Onion has once again struck a chord in articulating something I've been noticing more and more, as of late, but have been unable to explain very well. Namely, the outlook that far too many people seem to hold--that anything outside their direct sphere of knowledge is not even worth their attention.

A snippet:

Maybe my standards are too high, but if you like any of the hundreds upon hundreds of things that are too multifaceted for my attention span, you should have your head examined, weirdo.

Check out the whole article.

In this YouTube clip, our faceless instructor will show you on how to turn a normal ball of cotton & string into a fireball that's cool enough at the base, to hold in the palm of your hand. So play with your balls and impress your friends... just don't burn down your house.

Bigger the better.

The following code will give you an XHTML validating directory listing with icons for filenames that are easily customizable and easy to add more file types. You just need to come up with your own icons. An example can be found here and the full source code can be found here.

First, in the body of your XHTML document declare some variables and then read the files from the directory in which this file is in. Also I am going to declare a function in this file for the tutorial. Just to make it easier to show, I would recommend putting it in a functions file and then including it into this file.

Note: To have this come up automatically just name this file index.php and put it in whichever directory you want.

[php]

/*This file takes the filesize of something and converts it into something a little more readable*/

function have_filesize($num) {

$size = $bytes / 1024;

if($size < 1024) {

$size = number_format($size, 2);

$size .= ' KB';

} else {

if($size / 1024 < 1024) {

$size = number_format($size / 1024, 2);

$size .= ' MB';

} else if ($size / 1024 / 1024 < 1024) {

$size = number_format($size / 1024 / 1024, 2);

$size .= ' GB';

}

}

return $size;

}

$cellcolor2 = "alt"; //Declare alternate list item class

$dir = ".";

$open = opendir ($dir); //Open current directory

[/php]

Next you have to loop through all of the files in the directory and to do that you simply do this.

Inside of that while loop is where all of the magic happens

[php]

while ($Files = readdir ($Open)) {

$Filename = "$Dir/" . $Files;

$Type = filetype ("$Filename");

if ($Files == '..'|| $Files == '.' || $Files == 'index.php') {

continue;

} else {

//If the file is a directory, list it out with a folder icon

if (is_dir ($Filename)) {

$Name = "".$Files."";

$Size = "Directory"; //Set Size column to "Directory"

} else {

//This grabs whatever is after the last . in the filename. This is good for files that have multiple periods in it's name

$last = substr(strrchr($Files, "."), 1);

//Create a list of file types to associate with icons

$types = array("jpg", "jpeg", "gif", "png", "php", "mp3", "zip", "psd", "pdf");

//If the filetype of the file in the directory matches one in the types array above then set an icon for it

if(in_array($last, $types)) {

switch($last) {

case "jpg":

case "jpeg":

case "gif":

case "pdf":

case "png": $image = "/i/image.png"; break;

case "psd": $image = "/i/psd.png"; break;

case "php": $image = "/i/php.png"; break;

case "mp3": $image = "/i/mp3.png"; break;

case "zip": $image = "/i/zip.png"; break;

default: $image = "/i/default.png"; break;

}

} else {

//Set a default icon for the filetype

$image = "/i/default.png";

}

//Create the link to the file with the icon

$Name = "".$Files."";

//Set the filesize of the file

$filesize = filesize ($Filename);

//Create friendly filesize

$Size = have_filesize($filesize);

}

}

//Set name, size and type arrays

$FileArray[] = $Name;

$SizeArray[] = $Size;

$TypeArray[] = $Type;

}

//Close directory

closedir ($Open);

[/php]

Lastly this is where the sorting is handled and everything gets printed out.

[php]

// Define the two ways to sort the directory contents

$Sort = $_GET['sort'];

switch ($Sort) {

case "SortByLow":

array_multisort ($SizeArray, SORT_ASC, $FileArray);

$sorting = "?sort=SortByHigh";

break;

case "SortByHigh":

array_multisort ($SizeArray, SORT_DESC, $FileArray);

$sorting = "?sort=SortByLow";

break;

default:

array_multisort ($TypeArray, $FileArray, $SizeArray);

$sorting = "?sort=SortByLow";

break;

}

$cl = "";

// Print out the contents of the directory

echo "

n";

echo "

• SizeFilename
n";

for ($n = 0; $n < count($FileArray); $n++) {

//This is used to place a class in every other list item for a different colored background

if($num = is_float($n/2)) {

$cl = " class="$cellcolor2"";

} else { $cl=""; }

if($SizeArray[$n] == "directory") {

echo ("$SizeArray[$n]$FileArray[$n]n");

} else {

echo ("$SizeArray[$n] kb$FileArray[$n]n");

}

}

echo "

[/php]

Fun fact: the average person eats 8 of these little buggers a year, in their sleep.

XTML is going to be really big this year, I just KNOW IT!

Way to go E-Junkie for staying on the forefront of technology!

"what is google analytics?"

google.com/analytics/

GAS-Air

"I kinda can't stand Georgia when bold." - Mike Ferry

(sits back and waits for the Quotes by Finn topic is started)

the sheer awesomeness that is the above photo.

The Florida Marlins want you. That is, so long as you're fat and have no problem dancing around for the amusement of others.

From the Yahoo! News story:

MIAMI - The Florida Marlins are looking for some footloose fat men. The National League team is creating an all-male, plus-size cheerleading squad to be dubbed the Manatees. Tryouts were scheduled for Sunday.

Now before you make your trek down to the sunshine state to take part in your life's one true calling, it should be noted that these sea cows won't be getting paid anything like their real cheerleaders are; payment will be in free access to games (and I imagine copious amounts of beer).

Terrible puns aside, I don't have any sort of backstory for this video but wtf is going on in Asia that they have toilet themed restaurants?! Props to my boy Nick for this find.

the terrorists win.

"I'm too broke to go clubbing"

I think I'm going to scan my IM window at the end of every day for these kind of gems!

"It's not as good when you're not angry."

I've been getting a lot of dental work done recently. If it isn't already too late, I recommend you consider taking care of your teeth as best as humanly possible. Visiting the dentist once a month for half a year is no fun.

My most recent dental visit consisted of a root canal. Wasn't nearly as bad as I expected, aside from the multiple Novocain shots through the roof of my mouth.

Also, "A little pressure", is really the equivalent of "It's gonna feel like I'm tickling your soul". Not the funny, ha ha kind of tickle, but rather the uncomfortable tickling that hurts and you feel like you are going to die.

Now I have to wait for my insurance to approve the crown to finish off the procedure, and that might take a few weeks, so I'm stuck with this shitty temporary filling.

All this leads me to bring you the brilliant words of the late, great, Mitch Hedberg.

This post has: 1 MP3

Good ol' Donnie is back with another "You suck at Photoshop" video. This one he shows you how to make your boss look fat and worthless using the liquefy tool. Enjoy.

You can check out older videos here and here.

One of my favorite subjects in high school was physics, it still is one of my favorite things to read about on the news. A guy named Emil Ernerfeldt over in Sweden created this program called Phun where you can literally create objects and toys on the fly and have them interact with each other. This is probably one of the coolest things I've seen in a while and it was created as a class project at university.

Check out the youtube video:

"it didnt work for me so that means you can't do it"

I have been patiently awaiting the release of this game since it was first announced at E3 2005. After many delays, Maxis and EA have finally set the release date on Sept. 7, 2008.

Spore is a god game under development by Maxis and designed by Will Wright (the creator of the sims) that allows a player to control the evolution of a species from its beginnings as a multicellular organism, through development as a sapient and social land-walking creature, to levels of interstellar exploration as a spacefaring culture. The game has drawn wide attention for its massive scope, and its use of open-ended gameplay and procedural generation.

Take a look for yourself!

Peter Callesen does some insane sculpture/craft projects using cut paper and a whole lot of patience. Everything from skeletal hands to wedding dresses. Just take a look at some of the pictures below or check them all out on his website.

This post has: 3 Images

[php]/*

@sources = code to highlight;

@classes = boolean for using classes instead of inline styles

*/

function php_highlight($source, $classes = false)

{

if (version_compare( phpversion(), "5.0.0", "<")) return "PHP 5 required";

$r1 = $r2 = '##';

if ( strpos($source,' ?>') === false )

{

$source = "";

$r1 = '#

$r2 = '#?>#s';

}

elseif (strpos($source,'

{

$r1 = '--';

$source = str_replace('

}

$source = str_replace("&", "&", $source);

$source = highlight_string($source,true);

if ($r1 =='--') $source = preg_replace('#(

$source = preg_replace (array ( '/.*s*/',

'#s*#', //